How To Call Yves Klein - A Pataphysical Sèance
Photo by Hal Schulman
Derek DelGaudio, April 9, 2024
To combat the bulimia with which these times stain the symbolic world*, follow the steps below:
1. Find a quiet space. Acquire the latitude and longitude of that location and measure its distance to The Void† . Now, convert that number of miles to inches, reducing it to a length you can hold.
2. Fashion a line that length from strips of torn canvas‡ , dyed blue with the anointed pigment § , all tied together by knots. Lay this line in your space for others to find at their seat.
3. You will also need a special variation of the Monotone-Silence Symphony**, specifically crafted to contact Klein††. Find it here for your convenience.
4. Play the tune‡‡ and hold the line.
5. Close your eyes. Become a silent and static witness to the messages you receive §§. DO NOT LET GO OF THE LINE.
Photo by Hal Schulman
*The crisis of the Symbolic World was first identified by the retired fortuneteller who can be found sitting at Le Bergamote, located at 169 9th Ave, New York City, NY.
†The Void is located at 48°47'13.3" N 2°17'32.3"E.
‡Buy raw cotton canvas from the garment district and tear it into long strips, each roughly two inches wide. Tie them together with knots, making one long cord. Measure and trim as needed.
§Go to Kremer Pigments located at 247 W 29th St, New York, NY 10001. Tell them you need enough International Klein Blue pigment to dye the distance between yourself and The Void.
**Variation on Monotone-Silence by Bon Iver x Derek DelGaudio © 2024. To truly be felt, the numinous requires a physical manifestation. We recommend pressing this piece on vinyl.
††Born in the nice part of Nice, in 1928, Yves Klein, the Judoka/Artist/Mystic, began drawing with milk from his baby bottle and went on to own the Sky. He established the Void in 1957 and later made headlines by leaping into it on November 27th, 1960.
‡‡In human time this piece lasts 40 minutes. In the void, it is eternal. We recommend playing it for at least one eternity.
§§ These are the messages from Klein.
Derek DelGaudio is a writer, director, and magician. DelGaudio created the award-winning theater show and film, In & Of Itself. He wrote the acclaimed book, AMORALMAN, served as the artist-in-residence for Walt Disney Imagineering, and co-founded the performance art collective A.Bandit. He is currently an Affiliate Scholar at Georgetown University and co-conspirator at Deceptive Practices, a creative firm known for designing illusions and providing "Arcane Knowledge on a Need-to-Know Basis.”
