Film

Iggy Pop Playlist

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Iggy Pop is an American singer, songwriter, musician, record producer, and actor. Since forming The Stooges in 1967, Iggy’s career has spanned decades and genres. Having paved the way for ‘70’s punk and ‘90’s grunge, he is often considered “The Godfather of Punk.”

Page of Wands (Tarot Triptych)

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Name: Page of Wands or Princess of Wands
Number: 4
Astrology: Earth of Fire
Qabalah: He of Yod

Chris Gabriel February 8, 2025

The Page of Wands is measuring up, stacking up, and determining value according to the Measure of his wand. The Princess, on the other hand, disregards all this and flies into action.

In Rider, the Page is a young man with a feathered cap, a yellow tunic adorned with salamanders, a scarf, and fiery yellow boots. His clothes are similar to the Knight, and he is set in the same pyramid spotted desert. He is looking up toward the tip of his wand, holding it in place. The Wand is taller than him.

In Thoth, the Princess is naked, save for a huge double uraeus crown. She has caught a tiger by its tail and is rushing ahead with the flames, dragging the tiger along. There is a burning altar beside her, as she holds a solar wand.

In Marseille, the Page is dressed very simply. He stands in a field with sprouting plants and looks ahead unsure. His wand is kept on the ground, directing his fiery energy into the Earth, causing the growth. The question is, what will make him raise his wand?

In each of these cards we see the interrelation of Fire and Earth. In Marseille, fire is something feeding the earth, in Rider it competes with the earth, and in Thoth, earth is the fuel to fire.

It is here that I find the Page of Rider most fascinating. While the suit of wands is generally proud, aggressive and arrogant, the youngest of them is shown struggling to measure up against his wand, his destiny. If the face cards in the suit of wands are having a “dick measuring competition”, the Page is losing, even against the Queen.

The Page of Marseille appears to be content with his Wand being more of a tool to fertilize the Earth, rather than as a tool of aggression. He is untroubled. 

The Princess disrupts both of these modes entirely. She is taking up the creature of the Earth, the tiger, as she ascends with the burning flames. This is a frenetic, excited young woman, who is quick to drag you along on an adventure. She represents extreme and blind enthusiasm, the freedom of the feminine, as opposed to the distinctly masculine insecurity in Rider. 

When pulling this card, we may be met with an assisting Page for our greater pursuits or we may assist someone in theirs. We may also be like the Tiger and get dragged along on a greater adventure.

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Chris Gabriel is a twenty four year old wizard and poet who runs the YouTube channel MemeAnalysis.

CHANNEL, SOCIAL, READINGS

Film

The Power of Shame

Detail from ‘Ashes’, Edvard Munch. 1895.

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Suzanne Stabile February 6, 2025

There are times when I teach Enneagram Wisdom and I become aware that I sound like I’m offering an answer to managing all the things that make life complicated and painful. That may sound somewhat arrogant, but the truth is, it’s exactly what I’m doing. After thirty years of teaching and studying the Enneagram, it is clear to me that using it every day changes your life for the better. Enneagram wisdom teaches that there are nine ways of seeing and nine ways of processing how we see. We can change what we do with how we see, but we can never change how we see. Knowing that alone is helpful in identifying some of our responses to life that we would like to change. 

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There are multiple sets of three to be found in Enneagram Wisdom. Among them are three Triads and their corresponding Default Emotions. All three Triads revolve around a powerful emotional response. For the Thinking triad, fear is the foundational motivation for behavior. For the Doing triad, anger is always within reach. For the Heart Triad, it is shame that guides the way. Each Enneagram number struggles to understand and manage the dominant or default emotion of the Triad. It is challenging work that never ends. 

In this series of articles, I’m exploring the emotions of shame, fear and anger as they relate to Enneagram wisdom. We experience all three, and we need to learn to respect each one and use it for its value, understanding how each can be helpful and can be harmful. We also need to learn to respect the power of each one without allowing it to have unnecessary influence in our lives. 

One of the three is the default emotion for each personality type or number in the Enneagram. Enneagram Twos, Threes and Fours  make up the Heart triad, and these three personalities, shame dominates how they see themselves, others and the world. So, it’s healthy for us to know what shame looks like. 

We live our lives telling stories. My work is to teach, and model, the art of connecting the Enneagram with the stories that make up our lives. In doing so, we can “find ourselves” both in the present and the past, and we can also imagine ourselves in new ways as we look to the future.  

According to the work of Curt Thompson, M.D., there is a story we tell ourselves about shame, and there is a story that shame tells about us. I’m a Two on the Enneagram and I was adopted at birth. Part of the story shame tells about me, in relation to my birth narrative, is that I am not good, not wanted and not enough. It is challenging to live with the never-ending premise that we are fundamentally unworthy, inadequate and flawed but Enneagram Twos, Threes, and Fours have no other option 

Unlike guilt, which is about what we do,shame is about who we are. One might feel guilty about telling a lie to a friend,  yet feel shame about being the kind of person who would do such a thing. In the same way, we feel embarrassed because we think we look bad and feel shame because we think we are bad.  

Expulsion from the Garden of Eden, Masaccio. 1425.

In her work, Brene’ Brown suggests that we need to know these three things about shame. First, we all have it. Second, we are all afraid to talk about it. Third, the less we talk about it the more control it has over our lives. Brown suggests that “shame is the fear of disconnection.” Keeping in mind that it is the default emotion for The Heart triad, it makes sense that the  personality types that most want connection would be the perfect target for shame. 

A 2011 study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, along with other agencies, found that, “as far as the brain is concerned physical pain and intense experiences of social rejection hurt in the same way.” Think about that! We’ve all experienced shame and often, in trying to talk about it, we describe it using language such as “intensely painful” or “unbelievably exhausting”, because that is literally how it feels.  

If everything contains its opposite, what then could be the purpose of shame? Like anger and fear, it is most often a negative emotion. And yet, some professionals say we need to acknowledge that both sides are necessary if we are to function in the healthiest ways possible. In looking back over your own life, I would suggest that there are ways that shame, though painful, has been helpful.

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“When we tell our own stories, including the parts we are ashamed of, we get to write the ending.”

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Shame can be preventative, helping us to avoid repeating mistakes. It can be helpful in our learning to take responsibility for our actions. And it can provide us with the desire to question ourselves, and the actions we take that have a history of leading us toward regrettable behaviour.  

Yet too much shame is overwhelming.. As a Two, I find it to be like a hologram. It looks like me and it shows up, unbidden and unwanted. These days, I question the hologram when she approaches, knowing that she wants to move in and cover me. “Did I behave in ways that caused harm?”, I ask.  If the answer is “no” then I move on. If the answer is “yes” then I consider whether it would be harmful if repeated. 

We must move through the experience of shame without sacrificing our value or our values. If we address shame appropriately, the experience and lessons offered can be very helpful. The most effective practice I have found for holding the hologram at bay is to know, own, and tell my story honestly. When we tell our own stories, including the parts we are ashamed of, we get to write the ending. Shame hates to have other words wrapped around it. Especially words that would show it for what it is. For obvious reasons our tendency is to hide it but shame is a big emotion that gains strength in the dark and shrinks in the light. 

For Enneagram Twos, Threes and Fours shame is always in the wings, just off stage, waiting to enter the story of your life at any moment.  Some common expressions  of shame as named by Twos are feelings of inadequacy and being unable to live up to expectations. . Twos tell me that when they look inside themselves it’s a struggle to feel joy or pride, they feel I feel inferior to most of the people, and  wonder if God is disappointed in them.  

Threes express to  me that it is common for them to say to themselves, “I am a fake. I feel like if people really knew me, they might have contempt for me. I’m not as successful as I pretend to be.”  Fours tell me they feel flawed inside, like they are blemished in some meaningful way. They say they are sure they will never measure up to what they ought to be. “I feel as if I will never be acceptable. I am always either too much or not enough.”  

Lucretia, Rembrandt van Rijn. 1666.

Feelings are messy for all of us, but they are particularly problematic for those who are in this triad. Of the three Enneagram Triads, the Heart Triad is the least capable of rational thinking, and shame thrives off irrationality. Often, it is difficult for all of us to distinguish multiple feelings as they flow in and out of our awareness but for Twos, Threes and Four it is particularly challenging because Twos feel other people’s feelings. They will often be unsure of their own feelings, but they read the feelings of others whether they want to or not.  

Threes find that feelings interfere with their top two priorities, efficiency and effectiveness. They set them aside waiting for a more convenient time to address them. Unfortunately, that time seldom presents itself to the number that is the best at multitasking. Fours are not content with average feelings. As a result, they find ways to exacerbate feelings so that when they are sad, they can be sadder; and when they are happy, they can engineer ways to be happier.  

Shame finds a home in these three Enneagram types because as long as we identify with our number, with our personalities, something deeper goes unaffirmed. Of course, there are three different solutions to this dilemma. Twos begin by creating and identifying with a false reality. “I love everybody.” But we don’t. We follow that with going out of our way to please others so they will like us, and we end up resenting that. Threes have their own false identity which is, “I am successful.” They maintain the image by under-reporting or reframing failure. And they use their energy to become outstanding in every way they can, hoping to avoid failure so they will be admired and affirmed.  Fours create a false identity around an image of uniqueness and their own understanding of authenticity. That sense of who they are is usually accompanied by an elaborate story about themselves that doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. 

At the end of the day, these three numbers struggle to believe that they have value. So, the agendas of their personalities are about hiding that lack of value from others and more importantly from themselves. As a Two this is a very personal part of the journey for me. I still have so much to understand about the shadows of shame. But there is one thing I know for sure: the antidote for shame is found in learning to fulfill your needs from the inside out rather than from the outside in.

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Suzanne Stabile is a speaker, teacher, and internationally recognized Enneagram master teacher who has taught thousands of people over the last thirty years. She is the author of ‘The Path Between Us’, and coauthor, with Ian Morgan Cron, of ‘The Road Back to You’. She is also the creator and host of The Enneagram Journey podcast. Along with her husband, Rev. Joseph Stabile, she is cofounder of Life in the Trinity Ministry, a nonprofit, nondenominational ministry committed to the spiritual growth and formation of adults.

Daron Malakian

Film

Wandering: Farmhouse

Wanderer above the Sea of Fog. Caspar David Friedrich, 1818. Oil on canvas.

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Herman Hesse helped bring Eastern religious, spiritual, and philosophical traditions into the western mainstream through his exquisite writing of poetry and prose. His novel ‘Siddartha’, a story of a young man’s spiritual journey of self discovery in the time of Gautama Buddha, was written in 1922 but became a seminal and influential counter-cultural work of the 1960s, informing much of the hippie movement. ‘Wandering’, published two years before, deals with many of the same themes. A series of short essays and reflections, it explores the longing to return to nature, a journey away from home and into oneself, and the possibility of living a different kind of life. In this, the opening essay, Hesse considers the very nature of movement, and how the landscape of our birth shapes us in unknowable ways.

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Herman Hesse February 4, 2025

This is the house where I say goodbye. For a long time I won’t see another house like this one. You see, I’m approaching a pass in the Alps, and here the northern, German architecture, and the German countryside, and the German language come to an end.

How lovely it is to cross such a boundary. The wandering man becomes a primitive man in so many ways, in the same way that the nomad is more primitive than the farmer. But the longing to get on the other side of everything already settled, this makes me, and everybody like me, a road sign to the future. If there were many other people who loathed the borders between countries as I do, then there would be no more wars and blockades. Nothing on earth is more disgusting, more contemptible than borders. They’re like cannons, like generals: as long as peace, loving kindness and peace go on, nobody pays any attention to them — but as soon as war and insanity appear, they become urgent and sacred. While the war went on, how they were pain and prison to us wanderers. Devil take them!

I am making a sketch of the house in my notebook, and my eye sadly leaves the German roof, the German frame of the house, the gables, everything I love, every familiar thing.

Once again I love deeply everything at home, because I have to leave it. Tomorrow I will love other roofs, other cottages. I won’t leave my heart behind me, as they say in love letters. No, I am going to carry it with me over the mountains, because I need it, always. I am a nomad, not a farmer. I am an adorer of the unfaithful, the changing, the fantastic. I don’t care to secure my love to one bare place on this earth. I believe that what we love is only a symbol. Whenever our love becomes too attached to one thing, one faith, one virtue, then I become suspicious.

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“I am not complete, and I do not even strive to be complete. I want to taste my homesickness, as I taste my joy.”

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Good luck to the farmer! Good luck to the man who owns this place, the man who works it, the faithful, the virtuous! I can love him, I can revere him, I can envy him. But I have wasted half my life trying to live his life. I wanted to be something that I was not. I even wanted to be a poet and a middleclass person at the same time. I wanted to be an artist and a man of fantasy, but I also wanted to be a good man, a man at home. It all went on for a long time, till I knew that a man cannot be both and have both, that I am a nomad and not a farmer, a man who searches and not a man who keeps. A long time I castigated myself before gods and laws which were only idols for me. That was what I did wrong, my anguish, my complicity in the world’s pain. I increased the world’s guilt and anguish, by doing violence to myself, by not daring to walk toward my own salvation. The way to salvation leads neither to the left nor the right: it leads into your own heart, and there alone is God, and there alone is peace.

A damp mountain wind drifts across me, beyond me blue islands of heaven gaze down on other countries. Beneath those heavens I will be happy sometimes, and sometimes I will be homesick beneath them. The complete man that I am, the pure wanderer, mustn’t think about homesickness. But I know it, I am not complete, and I do not even strive to be complete. I want to taste my homesickness, as I taste my joy.

This wind, into which I am climbing, is fragrant of beyonds and distances, of watersheds and foreign languages, of mountains and southern places. It is full of promise.

Goodbye, small farmhouse and my native country. I leave you as a young man leaves his mother: he knows it is time for him to leave her, and he knows, too, he can never leave her completely, even though he wants to.

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Herman Hesse (1877-1962) was a German Swiss poet, novelist, and painter who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1946. Hesse remains one of the most widely read and translated European authors of the 20th century, and his novels have served as essential touchstones for generations of young people looking to find themselves.

Hannah Peel Playlist

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Mercury Prize, Ivor Novello and Emmy-nominated, RTS and Music Producers Guild winning composer, with a flow of solo albums and collaborative releases, Hannah Peel joins the dots between science, nature and the creative arts, through her explorative approach to electronic, classical and traditional music.

King of Swords (Tarot Triptych)

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Name: King of Swords, Prince of Swords
Number: 1 or 3
Astrology: Aquarius
Qabalah: Yod of Vau or Vau of Vau

Chris Gabriel February 1, 2025

The King of Swords is the highest card in the suit, but as the Prince, as he appears in Thoth, he is the third highest. In each depiction he bears a sword and wears a crown,  looking with judgment and considering how to apply his sword.

In Rider, we have a King cloaked in sky blue and grey. His throne is adorned with butterflies and sylphs. He is crowned, and his sword is held aloft, slightly to the right. He looks straight ahead. 

In Thoth, we see a Prince riding in a chariot drawn by three little men. Geometric figures swarm about him. He is preparing to strike with his sword, while his other hand holds the reins and a scythe.

In Marseille, the King is looking to the left. He is adorned in ceremonial armor with two Lunar shoulder pads. He is holding court, giving orders, and forming plans - not going to war. He is giving orders and forming plans. His sword is pointed straight up, and his scepter is by his side.

In both Rider and Marseille we are shown the King as Judge. This calls to mind the Judgment of Solomon, in which two women claim to be the mother of a child and come before their King to solve the dispute.

24 And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.

25 And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.

26 Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.

27 Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.

-Kings 3:24-17

A King judging by the sword is a perfect example of this card. 

The Prince, on the other hand, is judging only ideas. He is in a realm of intellect, not practical matters of the court. With his sword and scythe he cuts every sprout and sapling before they have time to mature, for each is imperfect. This card always reminds me of masturbation, and the phrase “mental masturbation”. None of these ideas will be fertilized. This is Hamlet himself, thinking and thinking.

The Kings on the other are interested not necessarily in Justice, but in balance and symmetry. The butterflies on the Rider King’s throne are not beautiful per se, but beautiful in their symmetry. The Kings are interested in using their swords to cut perfect borders, to divide bounty, to create laws and boundaries for their subjects.

When we pull this card we can expect an orderly person in the case of the King, or a mental person in the case of the Prince. Their ideas can bring peace and balance to our lives, or set us spinning our wheels. This may be energy we have to embody, setting things in their right place, and removing excess.

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Chris Gabriel is a twenty four year old wizard and poet who runs the YouTube channel MemeAnalysis.

CHANNEL, SOCIAL, READINGS

Film

We Are Cosmic Code - An Interview with Kaitlyn Kaerhart

Telepathic Transference of Numbers Between Two People, 1908. ‘The Naturalisation of the Supernatural’.

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Molly Hankins January 30, 2025

The title of numerologist, musician, and mystic Kaitlyn Kaerhart’s best-selling book You Are Cosmic Code is quite literal in its meaning - through understanding the mathematical equations of our individual life paths we can tap into universal intelligence. She’s proven with her own life’s work that the data contained in each of our own life’s equations opens up an endless well of creative inspiration and naturally leads to easier, more effective decision-making. 

“I think we are coming into a world now where science is merging with the spiritual, where the left brain and right brain are going to come together and people are going to be able to comprehend on a different level that there isn’t a difference between these two things. They can co-exist and they do co-exist, and when you think about it, music is really just patterns and frequencies - it’s math! Music is math, numerology is math.” 

The intersection between spirituality and music is what she’s always been about, and you can hear it in the way she speaks. There’s a cadence to her voice, particularly when she’s reading personal or universal cosmic code, that sounds like a subtle energy beatbox. As a musician for most of her adult life, she’s been a solo artist under the name Kaerhart, played guitar in several bands and written songs for other artists. Numerology was something she always studied for fun, but when a bad break-up left her homeless and sleeping in a friend’s recording studio, she started doing readings to make a living. Within a year she’d built that business online and was being courted by Penguin-Randomhouse U.K. to write You Are Cosmic Code.

Kaerhart’s philosophy of pattern recognition as the gateway to self-knowledge is a pathway to finding out what we as individuals need to thrive. It also helps that she has a photographic memory, which means her proficiency in numerology, astrology, Human Design, Galactic Maya and Destiny Cards entails almost perfect recall. She believes that, “All these different mystical tools I use are different entry points for people to access their purpose.” The well of information contained in these systems, if integrated into our lives, offers knowledge which empowers us in a way that can bring about a complete shift in priorities. 

“Numerology is an incredibly powerful tool that can instantly access who you really are,” she said. “When you realize how much power you actually hold over your life, you no longer accept things that are out of alignment or keeping you down. The more we do this, the more we’re raising consciousness.” Kaerhart also contends that whether we believe in systems like numerology or astrology is irrelevant because if we’re willing to hear the information, it causes us to reflect on whether it feels true or not. That consideration of our underlying motivations and behavioral patterns alone is an empowering invitation to authentic living.

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“Just as musical instruments naturally fall out of tune from being both over-played or from sitting untouched, so do our states of being - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.”

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Her particular brand of numerology, fully explained in her book, Instagram videos and in the materials on her website, emphasizes the study of personal annual cycle patterns that occur every nine years. We’ll use July 10th as an example to show how the equation works:.

Birth Month (7) + Birth Date (10) + Current Year’s Numerals Added Up (2+0+2+5) = 26

Reduce to total sum of those numbers, 2 +6 = 8 

According to Kaerhart, 8 is a year of achievement related to developing personal and financial power, but she gives deeply specific answers to every possible outcome of this equation. Like any responsible spiritual practitioner, she’ll tell you to “take what resonates and leave the rest” from any of her content but for Kaerhart, numerology is a very clear roadmap for how to live an optimized life. It came to her intuitively in a dream,. She kept hearing the words ‘spiritual numbers,’ decided to find out what that meant and accidentally built a wildly successful online business and became an international best-selling author as a result.

In addition to the personal annual cycles, there are also personal monthly cycles (108 total months in each cyclical, 9 year cycle) and life destiny numbers that speak to macro-themes related to the realization of our personal destinies. Each life destiny number is related to a certain archetype, and Kaerhart is a life path 1, which is the path of leadership. It’s something she always felt deeply uncomfortable with, but ultimately worked through using numerology.

Memory Tricks, 1617. Robert Fludd.

“In my old bands even though I was just a guitar player who wrote the songs, I was constantly in these positions where I was thrust into the spotlight. And when I found out I was a life path 1 I was like, what if I tried to embrace that? What if I tried embracing being the leader archetype even though it’s so uncomfortable for me and I don’t want to be seen?” she recalled. “And when I finally stepped into that role of leader instead of trying to hide, that’s when I got my book deal and my socials started to grow. I was embracing the traits and qualities of the path I’m meant to walk, and numerology helped me. It’s an incredible tool to learn to love and accept ourselves.”

Digesting her materials feels like an attunement. Just as musical instruments naturally fall out of tune from being both over-played or from sitting untouched, so do our states of being - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. Working with numerology, and especially Kaerhart’s particular practice of incorporating multiple information systems, feels like being tuned to harmonize our state of being. “A lot of people who come to me feel really lost, and I was too - I felt like everything was failing and I didn’t know what path I was supposed to take. Following my cosmic code helped me try on being a leader, and I just tried being in that energy and flowing with my annual and monthly cycles. As soon as I did it everything manifested.”

Kaerhart still writes music and happily described how much lighter it feels to be creative now that the pressure is off from having to be commercially successful enough to make a living at it. She was even offered a record deal recently, contingent upon “knocking off the numerology” on her Instagram. Most of her old friends from the music business have been baffled by the shift in her focus, and she hears the same feedback from peers in the spiritual community who don’t understand why she’s still making music. 

“Music and numerology are both incredible tools for healing. With music it’s instant, you put on a song and your vibration instantly changes. Even if you’re depressed, when you put on your favorite song, the healing is instant,” she said. “Music transcends language and culture, but so do numbers. Numerology requires us to take a moment to understand it, to do the math. But in terms of results, they’re exactly the same.” 

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You can find Kaitlyn Kaerhart at Kaerhart.com and @Kaerhart.

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Molly Hankins is an Initiate + Reality Hacker serving the Ministry of Quantum Existentialism and Builders of the Adytum.

Ky Dickens

Film

Disharmony as Intelligence

Color Analysis From A Mummy Cloth, Emily Noyes Vanderpoel. 1902.

Tuukka Toivonen January 28, 2025

Iwakan is one of my favorite Japanese phrases. It consists of three Chinese characters, 違 (i, meaning difference, deviation), 和 (wa, meaning harmony, peace) and 感 (kan,  meaning feeling, sense), that together form a single word that loosely translates as a ‘sense of disharmony’. In daily interactions, I use the term casually  when something feels off or out of place, yielding a mild yet noticeable dissonance rather  than a jarring sense of wrongness. A friend recently pointed out that having an iwakan does not necessarily suggest a negative situation or grave problem as such, only that  something—a sentence, a bit of furniture, a stylistic choice—might need to be rearranged  or reconsidered. 

What strikes me as remarkable about this single word—beyond how it incorporates the  beautiful wa character (considered quintessentially Japanese) in its midst—is its gentle emphasis not explicitly on disharmony or dissonance per se, but our sensing of it.. Along with foregrounding the utterer’s subjective experience, iwakan for  me serves as an eloquent reminder of the embodied nature of human knowing. It is the final kan character that signals this definitive quality, in a gesture so subtle that it becomes all too easy to overlook its potency. Here, dissonance becomes something felt intuitively in the body as opposed to a rational or purely intellectual observation of a discrepancy or  incongruence.  

Many  other Japanese emotional and relational expressions end with  kan or ki (気), the Chinese character of Daoist origin that (in Daoist usage) refers  to the fundamental universal energy that permeates all life and the entire cosmos. 

Think of the curious feeling you get, having just left home, that ‘something’s not  quite right’, prompting you to realize a moment later that the keys are still on the kitchen  table or that the air-conditioning is still humming. Or imagine spotting a dirty piece of  plastic waste in the middle of your most cherished beach and the  sensations this sight arouses in your body (while suspending any explicit thoughts about what should or should not be done in response). Next, recall how your abdominal area or your shoulders feel after a challenging conversation or an outright verbal conflict. What sensations can you detect or remember? What is the ‘shape’ and contour of your unease in each case? If you are anything like me, your experience of disharmony in situations like  these may range from a strange tickle or tingle to slight disgust and heaviness.  

In some cases, disharmony grows into a persistent, nagging signal that is simply  impossible to ignore. Think back to the moment you first faced ‘adult’ pressures — when you began to get serious about your education, find a proper job or plan for career  success. Alongside any immediate feelings of anxiety or frustration, did this generate any  disharmonies or recurring kinds of bodily discomfort in you? In my case, the unease I felt in relation to future expectations surged around the age of 17 and 18, producing a lingering, growing discomfort that eventually led to a major life transformation. 

The inner resistance I experienced in that now distant moment in my small hometown in Finland did not spring purely from my  naïveté or lack of familiarity with the ‘real world’. No— it was rather that the transitions I  was being asked to undertake felt devoid of meaning and resonance. The foremost paths into further study and work that I was being offered appeared  alienating and uninteresting at the time. Internally, I met this situation with a screaming  ‘why?’ along with the desire to find an escape hatch. 

This sense of disharmony may not have resolved had it not been for a surprising turn of events that led me to discover an alternative route forward. On one  sunny winter morning, seemingly out of the blue, an American youth musical group visited my high school in Kotka. That encounter inspired me to put all other  plans—and uncomfortable expectations—properly on hold. Upon graduation, I duly flew to Denver to join a year-long tour that would first take me to the United States and then  onwards to new lives in Japan and the United Kingdom. For the first time, I found a vigorous sense of aliveness, belonging and meaning in a totally new  context. 

It was iwakan that encouraged me to commit to this transition, coupled with  the strong positive sentiments I felt towards the musical program. To me, this served as a powerful demonstration of the surprising influence that a subtle, embodied sensation can wield when we stay (or are forced to stay) with it. Building on these reflections alongside other experiences, I have come to see disharmony as a vital kind of  intelligence, a  holistic one that we all too often ignore at our peril. We may not have the words to latch onto and express it, or perhaps  our society does not (yet) view it as a perfectly legitimate way of knowing,  learning or making decisions. Change, however, may be on its way even in cultures that, unlike Japan, do not incorporate nuanced references to felt sensations in daily spoken language. 

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“All this should help us see why the humblest inner twitch or sensation—whether dissonant  or harmonious—has the potential to be an important bridge between our day-to-day  experience and the civilizational priority of protecting the Earth.”

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Drawing inspiration from contemplative traditions, dance, and structured  experiments and surveys, a growing body of multidisciplinary academic research  approaches the felt dimension of intelligence through the concepts of embodiment and embodied cognition. Although still a new field of empirical inquiry, this research is already coalescing on understandings that profoundly challenge conventional definitions of  intelligence as well as the reductive views of  intelligence as algorithmic or computational. It proposes, simply, that intelligence  emerges not in the brain alone but through the ongoing interaction of our minds, bodies and environments. The bodily sensations we feel as we go about our daily lives—whether  relating to the temperature of the air, the motion of our legs as we walk, or the discomfort  we sense before an important presentation—are integral to the way we exist and navigate  the world, rather than something peripheral or subordinate to the explicit, conscious thought we bring to focused tasks and problem-solving.  

One way to interpret this trend is to view it as the gradual and long-overdue incorporation  of our animality, aliveness, and wholeness into mainstream thought. It is a liberating shift,  in at least three respects: first, it encourages us to stop suppressing or discounting aspects  of ourselves we internally feel compelled to follow but culturally devalue. This may result in enhanced feelings of personal integrity, wholeness and connectedness. Second, the realization that we are fundamentally embodied beings—living organisms with  bodies—helps us understand that the essence of our intelligence cannot be replicated or appropriate technologically, for it relies on direct lived experience. Third, embracing our embodied, animal selves brings us radically closer to the more-than-human world, highlighting and activating a foundational commonality, a shared way of being that the various artificial (conceptual and material) divides we have enacted between us and the  rest of the living world have not—and can never—eliminate.  

In the ecological philosopher David Abram’s words, this subtle transformation means we  no longer “look upon nature from a cool, detached position ostensibly outside of that  nature”, instead we (once again) become nature.¹ As such, our lives can more fully embrace the processes uncovered by embodiment scholars where intelligence fundamentally arises through the interaction of mind, body and ecology rather than from the individual brain or algorithmic machines.  

All this should help us see why the humblest inner twitch or sensation—whether dissonant  or harmonious—has the potential to be an important bridge between our day-to-day  experience and the civilizational priority of protecting the Earth. As the German  philosopher and psychiatrist Thomas Fuchs insightfully observes, “[e]ven an ecological redefinition of our relationship to the earthly environment will only succeed if our  corporeality and aliveness—as connectedness or conviviality with our natural environment —is at its center. Only if we inhabit our bodies will we also be able to maintain the earth in  habitable form”². Should we fail to recover and revalue our embodied natures, we will put ourselves at risk of becoming diminished and disempowered by artificial intelligence  technologies, allowing the opportunity to reconnect with our planet tragically slip beyond our grasp. 

So it turns out that iwakan—in a marked contrast with the subtlety of the phrase—has quite a few major lessons to teach us, both individually and societally. By observing  not only the disharmonies of our world but also  paying keen attention to our embodied sensations, we begin to relearn how to live fully in  our bodies. If we do so in a way that welcomes every kind of sensation as constitutive  of our intelligence, we will learn to once again live intelligently in the more-than-human  world. This is not an easy task—the learning journey I have personally experienced  has been long and remains far from complete, replete with myriad mysteries that may  never be resolved—but with practice, the basic ability to listen to our senses and inner  interoceptive, somatic signals eventually becomes effortless. Thus, striking a beautifully  harmonious and satisfying chord, we discover that by participating in our own existence  wholly, we will also find it radically easier to participate—experientally and and  regeneratively—in the larger sphere of life that our existence is rooted in.

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Tuukka Toivonen, Ph.D. (Oxon.) is a sociologist interested in ways of being, relating and creating that can help us to reconnect with – and regenerate – the living world. Alongside his academic research, Tuukka works directly with emerging regenerative designers and startups in the creative, material innovation and technology sectors. 

Tuukka would like to thank Elina Osborne and Chiharu Suzuki for the suggestions they kindly  offered in the process of this article’s germination at Amigo House.

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¹  Abram, D. 2010. Becoming animal: An earthly cosmology. New York (N.Y.): Vintage books.
²  Fuchs, T. 2021. In defence of the human being: Foundational questions of an embodied 2 anthropology. Oxford: Oxford University Press. 

Iggy Pop Playlist

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Iggy Pop is an American singer, songwriter, musician, record producer, and actor. Since forming The Stooges in 1967, Iggy’s career has spanned decades and genres. Having paved the way for ‘70’s punk and ‘90’s grunge, he is often considered “The Godfather of Punk.”

Knight of Wands (Tarot Triptych)

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Name: Knight of Wands
Number: 1 
Astrology: Sagittarius or Leo
Qabalah: Yod of Yod 

Chris Gabriel January 25, 2025

The Knight of Wands is the embodiment of fire, the true bearer of the Wand. In each depiction, we are shown figures of pure externalized energy racing toward their highest aims..

In Rider, we see a rearing brown horse whose rider is dressed in tattered yellow robes. This robe itself is fire, and bears the mark of its elemental creature, the Salamander. The knight wears silver armor, and his helmet is topped with a fiery plume. His wand is verdant. He is riding through a desert landscape with pyramids in the distance.

In Thoth, we find a black horse with a mane and tail of fire. His rider is adorned in black armor with a beard of fire and a helmet topped with a hawk. His wand is aflame. His cloak joins the great fire that fills the card.

In Marseille, we have a far more calm scene, a cloaked horse and his rider both gaze down from their height upon an unseen sight below. Here we see the dominance of the rider over the horse, while the others aggressively ride, this knight reigns in that strength.

The Knight of Wands is the highest and fieriest card in the suit of Wands. In Thoth and Rider, this is shown as aggression, and as extreme and volatile movement, while the Knight in Marseille seeks to control this fire. It is a difficult task, as fire is the element most difficult to contain: water can be dredged, dammed and bottled, air can be blocked by a wall and blown out your mouth, earth can be shaped with ease, but fire burns or dies. 

Both Knights in Thoth and Marseille are white knuckled as they grip the reins of the horse. They are “riding the tiger” of aggression, and cannot simply turn away. The Knight in Marseille has broken his horse thoroughly, controlling his primal drives. 

This is a struggle for many, especially children whose immense emotions cannot be fully expressed by language and freedom, and so they throw tantrums and grow angry. The Knight of Wands can be an unstoppable person firing on all cylinders, which can be exciting or terrifying. This can also be the force you will embody.

As Sagittarius, we can think of arrows and bullets, an extremely useful tool of aggression when pointed in the right direction. The Knight of Wands working in the wrong direction is horrible, but in the right direction it is an astounding force.

Therefore let us have the discipline to aim our wills at the right target, and then move ahead full speed.

When we pull this card, we can expect a great deal of energy either in ourselves or in a fiery person. If you use this energy well and move in the right direction, the results will be swift and certain.

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Chris Gabriel is a twenty four year old wizard and poet who runs the YouTube channel MemeAnalysis.

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